


The Not Very Nice but Rather Accurate Reparatory Omens

by Alice_LT



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, I'm Sorry, It hurt to write this much angst, Lots of Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-07-25 16:57:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20029204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_LT/pseuds/Alice_LT
Summary: Recounting the complex events surrounding two angels and their relationship, from the beginning of Earth to the Almost-End of it, and beyond.





	1. Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I have been writing for most of my life but never posted anything online, so apologies if this is not up to standard.  
Disclaimer: these are all headcanons of mine, but please do not think this excludes yours!

‘Well that went down like a lead balloon,’ Crawly said casually. He was trying to play it cool.  
After all, he was stood next to the only being in the universe that ever had his heart. He thought that the beautiful figure stood on his right would turn in shock, rushing to envelope him in a tight embrace.

Imagine his surprise when his angel didn’t even recognise him.

Upon this realisation, it took a lot of will power not to scream at the other celestial, beg him to stop this joke, it wasn’t funny.  
But Crawly was not known for being naïve; he knew that this was no joke.  
He resigned himself to keeping up a light conversation, the type that would later be known as “small talk”. The exchange was heartbreakingly familiar. Aziraphale spoke in the same polite-yet-wary tone he’d had when he first met Crawly in Heaven, which is interesting considering that the Last First Time they met, Crawly was an Archangel and not a demon (although some may argue they’re as intimidating as each other).

A great rumble broke through the clouds above, the sky darkening.  
Instinctively, Crawly moved closer to the angel who, just as quickly, raised his wing over the demon. They stood there for quite some time, until Adam and Eve were dots in the distance. There was no talking, just a comfortable silence. The angel Aziraphale did not know why the silence was comfortable- he was in the company of a demon, one that had corrupted the first humans at that! However, he couldn’t deny that he was, indeed, comfortable. He didn't notice Crawly disappear from the wall, but did look rather disappointed when he realised.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really am not good at breaking up dialogue and for that, I sincerely apologise.

‘He didn’t REMEMBER!’ Crawly exclaimed as soon as he reached his office.  
The few demons that were there barely looked up from their work. There was always at least one angry demon ranting and raving at any one time in Hell.  
‘I sssssaid- he didn’t REMEMBER!’ Crawly shouted again, this time letting his hiss come through a little.  
‘Yes, Crawly, we heard you. Hard not to,’ Dagon replied, rolling their eyes. Crawly made a sound of annoyance and dumped himself onto a chair.  
‘I’m surprised you hadn’t found out yet.’ Said the Lord of the Files, tuning to look at the disgruntled heap of demon opposite them.  
‘Found out what?’  
‘The angels having their memories wiped.’  
Crawly raised his eyebrow at this.  
‘Everyone knows, then? Am I the only one that doesn't know?!’  
‘Because you’re an idiot, Crawly,’ Dagon smiled sardonically, ‘Their memories were wiped of any relationships they had with us. All they remember is that those who fell were wrong.’  
Crawly lent forwards, resting his chin on his hand.  
It shouldn’t shock him that She would do something like this- She made them fall, after all. It had been an unknowable amount of time- since time, in human terms, hadn’t been invented yet- between the fall and now, but it had certainly felt like a long time.  
All this time he had been thinking of his angel, his angel had been carrying on as normal. As if the demon had never existed. Right now, Crawly thought, it may have been good if he didn’t. 

~

A few floors (or a million floors, who could tell?) above this, the Archangels were concerned.  
Michael was the first to hear about the snake in the Garden. They immediately told Gabriel, who told Uriel. The three of them stood facing each other, whispering like school children.  
Aziraphale was standing close enough that, if he concentrated, he could hear some of the words.  
Namely, ‘snake’, ‘Great Plan’ and, a few times-

‘Aziraphale?’

  
The principality jumped slightly before turned around, smiling sheepishly at his superiors.  
‘Yes, Gabriel?’ He said in a way that he hoped sounded cheerful.  
‘Could you come over here, please?’ The Archangel responded with a smile that could only be described as intimidating. Aziraphale hesitated a millisecond, just long enough for it to be noticeable. Nevertheless, he did what he was told.  
‘Everything alright, Gabriel? Nice to see you, Uriel and Michael!’ He said as cheerily as he could.  
‘We heard about the Garden, Aziraphale.’ Michael said in their unwelcoming voice.  
‘That’s why we asked you to come back up Here.’ Uriel continued.  
‘Is it true that a demon caused the first Humans to be banished from the Garden?’ Michael asked.  
The three Archangels looked expectantly at Aziraphale. He couldn’t understand why any of this mattered.  
‘Well, one could argue it was their decision to-’ He stopped short as he saw Gabriel’s glare increase, ‘Ah- I mean- Yes. A demon named Crawly, I believe. Tempted Eve to ea-.’  
‘Yes, thank you, Aziraphale. That’s all we needed.’ Michael said with a tight smile.  
Uriel waved a hand and Aziraphale found himself being flung back to Earth.

He found himself back in the Garden, alone.  
Well, he had thought so until he felt a tap on his shoulder.  
  
‘Hello Az! It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to you!’ The taller Archangel said happily.  
‘Zadkiel!’ Aziraphale said, accepting a hug, ‘It’s nice to see you. How are things?’  
‘Not too bad, my friend. I came down to talk to the Humans. It seems they need some advice’ He said, looking for them with his brow creased.  
‘Aha, well, perhaps they do!’ Aziraphale replied, hurrying after Zadkiel as he strode towards the big hole in the side of the Wall of Eden.  
‘But apparently,’ The Archangel said, touching the stone, ‘I do not need to bring them freedom.’  
He looked up at Aziraphale, hoping to get an explanation. The angel stumbled over his words, unsure of what to say.  
‘They’ve been gone for hours now, I think. If you want to find them, you’d best head off now.’  
Zadkiel looked disappointed. He had thought himself trustworthy. He would have liked an explanation for the hole in the Wall, or Az's involvement. However, looking at the stubborn expression on his fellow celestial's face, he could tell that wouldn't happen.  
‘I’ll try to see you again, Aziraphale,' He said, standing up, 'I heard about the demon Crawly.’  
‘What about him?’  
‘You need to be careful,’ Zadkiel said softly. He opened his mouth to say something else, but thought better of it.  
He smiled softly, then opened wings of violet and took off.

Aziraphale watched him go as long as he could, before looking down at the sandy ground. He had the strangest feeling that something had been missing the past few minutes. As if there was something Zadkiel had forgotten to bring with him.  
Alas, Aziraphale could not fathom what it could be. He looked at the damage on the wall.  
‘Well… I suppose I'd better fix that.’


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING-  
Brief mention of blood and burning in this chapter!!

Most demons are inherently sulky. 

Can one really blame them? They were eternally damned by a being that went on to be known for forgiveness. That would make anyone sulky.  
For this reason, it was not unusual to observe a demon or two partaking in some sulky activities.  
It was not unusual, then, to see a demon such as Crawly staring blankly at a “motivational” poster on the wall and throwing almost-out-of-ink biros (the only kind available in Hell) at it. 

This was how Ligur found him.  
He grabbed a chair and set it next to Crawly. He sat down, unsure of what to do next. He was not good with words, and never had been. It was a sad day when mental communication had been banned.  
‘What d’you want, Ligur?’ The red-headed demon mumbled, throwing another semi-useless biro at the wall.  
‘I was, uh,’ He struggled to think of an appropriate word, ‘Checking.’  
‘Checking what?’  
‘If you were feeling… Worse than usual?’ Ligur’s chameleon rolled its eyes slightly, as did Crawly.  
‘I suppose so. You’d have thought nothing could get worse here.’ He turned his attention back to the “Please remember, your compulsory work here doesn’t amount to anything” poster, giving up his throwing game. 

Ligur sighed- he was uncomfortably out of his depth; how do you cheer up a fellow damned soul?  
If it was any other demon, he would have taken them to see the daily punishments, but that hadn’t cheered Crawly up on any other occasion. 

Luckily, Lord Beelzebub walked into the room at this moment, saving Ligur from further awkwardness.  
‘Crawly. With me, quickly.’ And with that, the Lord turned around and started walking.  
The demon forced himself up and walked out of the dull room into an equally-dull corridor, purposefully dragging his feet to annoy his superior.  
He wondered briefly what this could be about.

After walking an indeterminable amount of time through the swarming corridors of Hell, Beelzebub came to a stop at a bland metal door. They stood aside, signalling for Crawly to enter. He sighed as loudly as possible before swinging his way through the doorframe and depositing himself onto the grim office chair closest to him.  
The higher demon shut the door and sat opposite the practically liquid form that was Crawly, who had sprawled across the seat in a manner only Crawly could manage.

‘I’ve been hearing some unsatisfactory things about you,’ Beelzebub buzzed. ‘Well, that’s good, isn’t it?’ Crawly asked, expression one of pure innocence (or as close to that as a demon could get).‘Don’t get facetious with me, snake,’ Beelzebub retorted, enjoying the flinch that resulted. If there was one thing Crawly hated more than his demonic name, it was being called “snake”. ‘What is this about, Lord?’ He asked, with a bit more respect.  
‘I have had a report that says you were fraternising,’ The Lord of the Flies began.  
‘Well, it’s hard not to fraternise with colleagues down here but I try- ‘  
‘With an angel.’  
Crawly paused mid-ramble, midway into digging himself out of one hole when he found himself landing in a much larger one.  
‘Ah.’ Crawly said.  
Beelzebub raised their eyebrows at this, then leaned in and smiled. They were looking forward to seeing Crawly squirm his way out of this one.  
‘I, uh…’ He began steadily, unsure of where he was going, ‘I was trying to tempt him.’  
‘Tempt him? To what?’  
‘To- um- defy Upstairs. Do a bit of mischief with me.’ Crawly could tell this explanation was not convincing his superior at all. 

Beelzebub sat back, recalling when the demon opposite had first arrived in Hell. His body burnt for longer than anyone’s, except for Lucifer himself. He kept asking where his archangelic brothers were, and a principality. Each time he spoke their names his mouth bled, but he kept asking until he realised there was no use.  
They looked at Crawly, his eyes shifting, betraying his dishonesty.  
Did he remember crying out for Aziraphale whilst writhing in pain after he fell? Probably not.  
Beelzebub did.  
‘Which angel was it, snake?’ They asked.  
‘Not sure, didn’t get a name.’ Crawly lied, again.  
Beelzebub nodded. ‘You can go. Don’t try to tempt an angel again, Crawly.’  
Crawly was surprised, but heaved himself out of the chair. He bowed, somehow making it look sarcastic, and left the room.  
Beelzebub didn’t notice the bow, too busy thinking.

  
They could have punished him badly, as talking to angels was the second-worst thing you could do.  
But they had a plan.  
Undoubtedly, Crawly would seek out this angel again. If Beelzebub stationed Crawly on Earth too…  
They called Dagon in, and asked for the file for assigning demons to Earthly tasks. This would be an interesting few centuries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such slow updates and short paragraphs. I was in the process of moving and I'm going into my next academic year now but hopefully I can update these a bit better soon!!


End file.
